Driven to Travel

Gearing up and studying for the upcoming trip to Spain has been equal parts exciting, stressful, and terrifying. The excitement is all too easy to describe, so I won’t bore you with the details. The fear is a mixture of irrational childhood phobia’s and fanged animals; the loss of new friends made in what I’m assured is supposed to be a lonely writer’s life; and, most sensibly, the fear of failure.  I have little doubt that as soon as I step foot in Madrid’s airport that the fears will dissipate, making them little more than temporary nuisances.

The stress comes from something else entirely: expectation. By and large, travelling remains this enjoyable thing you do when you want a vacation. Much as writing is perceived as a hobby more than a profession, to travel is to waste one’s life on frivolity. Life, we’re told, is meant for a 9 to 5 slow march towards retirement — a wife/husband, children. Yet every morning the Dremel carves my eyes open to view the same world, filled with the same problems, and the same disappointments. Where’s the exuberant bang, the fanfare playing me into the Ruins of Petra, the stifling dust kicked down my throat on a road through the dried heart of antiquity? Without a doubt, it’s somewhere beyond the keywords, the dungeon, and pauper’s paycheck.

Yes, even knowing that the rules of 1950’s America aren’t for me, I’m saddled with expectation. How do you look a parent in the eye who thinks you’re wasting your life, money, and opportunities to start a family? As far as I can tell, you do it with a smile. Just as they cannot understand a life undefined by salaried structure and outdated rules, I will never understand the need to fulfill the roles others have thrust upon me.

And so, I stuff my sleeping bag into my pack and hope I have enough water, food, and coin as I pull the straps tight around me. Only a fool would say with any certainty that the smell of the same “Bubbling Brook” laundry detergent, the acerbic feel of the same unrequited love, and the stress of the same work done ad nauseam won’t be missed, but they must certainly be left behind with the rest of the preordained. From now until Barcelona and beyond, the expectations I strive to reach are my own. 

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5 Comments

  1. Most people work a crap office job to save for retirement so they can then travel the world. You’ve got it right. Travel now while you are young and can enjoy it more. Wife, kids, mortgage on a house; all over rated in my opinion. Pursue your dreams and travel!

    Reply

    1. Thanks a lot for the encouragement! I don’t think you could be more spot on!

      Btw, as both a Tolkien fan and supporter of a move towards sustainable, earth-friendly living, I love your project.

      Reply

      1. Fortunately for me I am a cargo pilot so I get to travel a lot with my job. I spent March in Cadiz and Paris. I forfeited a military retirement to get this job and will never regret it. When I was your age I spent four weeks hiking alone in arctic Alaska. Family and friends thought I was nuts and tried to talk me out of it. In the end, it was the best vacation I ever took. May I go to Rio with a Brazilian GF. In June I will
        Go to Christmas Island alone. Life is good. Never give up your dreams!

        Have you got all your funding for your trip?

      2. I’m glad to see you’ve followed your own path as well. Alaska had to be quite the adventure! No doubt you saw some beautiful things, met some interesting challenges.

        Christmas Island: now that sounds incredible, too. I’m told the shores teem with crabs, surrounding a lush, natural escape. How long will you spend there?

        As for my trip, the Indiegogo campaign did reach 101% funding, so I have a lot to be grateful for. That being said, whether or not it will be enough is up to the road! I look forward to the challenge

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